for lack of better words

I wish I knew the right thing to say all the time. I can see how much you're hurting. And I now how much I want to help...but I can't. I will be here to support you and love you no matter what you choose. You are strong and you can do this. Even though we haven't known each other that long and aren't that close, I will be here for you when others won't.
I see your heart breaking and being ripped in two entirely different directions and it hurts me. My heart hurts for you because the thing is...I have felt the pain you are feeling now. I know how much you long for this deep down, despite how hard it would be and despite what everyone is saying and telling you to do.
I will pray unceasingly for this life to be saved. My heart aches for you.

Exhausted

My, what a whirlwind of a trip. I am back home in the States and it has been some ridiculous jet lag, no sleep, and worse sickness then when I first got to India. But God is so...good. I can't even begin to describe the beauty and the miracles I saw Him work in India. I am physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted..but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's really hard to have to go back to work so soon, I have a feeling this won't help me get over jet lag being up til 11 working ha.
But it's ok. I just want to rest. Rest in Him. Just simply..rest. I don't want to even process...it's really hard for me to process after an intense trip to a place like India. I feel that if I don't look at the photos...my heart won't have to break for those people again. I want it to, it's just so hard.
ohh and Avanthika. What a beautiful thing it was seeing her again. I feel God gave me so many promises for her. She's going to be okay. However, that orphanage is still an evil place, and those babies need protection they aren't getting. I wish there was more I could do from here. But there isn't other than pray.
This is going to be a rough time.